two weeks

Second friday of the school year. I've officially made it through two weeks of student teaching. I am more tired than I thought I would be. Teaching is often harder than I think it is going to be. There is always too much to say and too little memory. There are always moments that you realize there was something you should have said before all 36 students started talking again. And there is always that point when you realize that you really just need to slow down, be calm, and put more faith in yourself. There are so many opportunities to let your intution take over and go with whatever happens. And there have been numerous class periods that make me hope that someday I will be good, confident, personable, timed, and clear.

I just took over an hour to make and eat my dinner and now I sit in a clean house, dishes done, contemplating what I want to do now. Eleven and a half hours ago, I got in my car and drove through the country to my first day of school-- my first day as a teacher.

Today was a really good day. After meeting with my mentor teacher last week in the midst of the chaos of moving, I was feeling more overwhelmed than ever. Today, however, after getting a few nights of good sleep, knowing there were plenty of groceries at home, and having most of my belongings settled in, I felt ready to take on this crazy life of teaching. Over the weekend, I discovered the one good thrift store in town and scored a nice assortment of professional attire for my new appointment for a price even a student teacher can afford.

Although I didn't get as many lesson plans written today as I hoped I would, I went through the process of figuring out budgets, calculating numbers of students, and ordering supplies. I got the quick and dirty run down on doctoring photocopies to make handouts from books without written directions, but great illustrations. And I had a lot of great conversations with my mentor teacher about how to plan engaging lessons and what to do with kids who finish too early.

Something I've been thinking a lot about is the issue of time management and balance in my life. Even though many student teachers have told me that this thing takes over your life, that it is the most difficult thing of all, and that student teaching is an all-consuming monster, I've really been looking forward to this time as a chance to determine my own balance of time. My way of life up to this point has been dictated by the expectation that 12-14 hour days most days of the week are normal and appropriate. I feel a little like I might need to go through detox to change this standard in my life. I want to change it because I really find that having time to make a delicious dinner for myself and allowing myself time to enjoy it is so good for my soul. I feel better about my relationships when I have time (and energy) to do dishes and keep things clean. And I consider a restful sleep to be something worth fighting for.

For all of these reasons, I feel lucky to have the model that I do in my mentor teacher. I asked her how late she stays at school after the bell rings at 2:15 and expected her to say 4:30 or 5. "I try not to stay much later than 3:30 or 4," she said, and added, "I try really hard to keep work at school and home and home." Other teachers, she went on to say, allow school to take over their entire lives and end up staying until 5 or 6-- and they really are teachers all of the time. "This is a job," she advised me, "that can easily consume your entire life."

So here I am, at 6:29, enjoying freedom from guilt about what I need to be doing for school. I have time to think about what I might choose to do with myself now that I have a few personal moments. Part of me feels like I may be forgetting something, but another part of me tells me that this very act of forgetting is just what my soul needs.

This morning at our staff meeting, the principle reminded us all of a very important thought:

"You cannot take any better care of others than you do yourself."

So here is to a great semester ahead full of learning and adventure!

Gordon Hopkins

I love the simplicity of Gordon Hopkin's work. I often find that I simply get too carried away with my own paintings and envy artists who are able to leave well enough alone with a minimum of colors and shapes in one painting. Maybe I'll work on that. Perhaps this sort of discipline will be seen in my "later works." In the meantime, enjoy some of these and take a look at the artist's website for more beauties.

Julene Harrison

I was admiring and getting inspired by Julene Harrison's paper art, but then couldn't help but laugh out loud when I saw this one.