Yesterday I interviewed for an was offered a job working in the school next fall. No more wondering how I am going to land a job in a place I don't want to work and still be happy about it. This interview was the second or third education-related interview I've had in both the last three months as well as my entire life. As I've sat in these interviews, I couldn't help but excitedly think to myself that the questions I am asked are actually questions I get to answer with my whole heart. As I was driving to my appointment yesterday, I realized that whether or not I even get the job, I enjoy going to these interviews with people because I get to have conversations about the things that really get my heart burning. It felt good to know how to answer questions about classroom management and differentiation and the freedom of creativity, now that I know what that means and I've actually had experience in the classroom dealing with these things.
Although I really struggled throughout the semester to see it, as I observe who I am this summer in relation to who I was last January, I see growth in my own stature, my face, the way I stand. The never-ending job search doesn't seem as difficult and I am less intimidated. I feel like I have more of a right to ask for a job than I have before-- I am more confident in my abilities and qualifications. My resume has changed over the last five months, but so has something in me.
I've been thinking about risk-taking, you know, the steps that you have to take to delve into something you've never done before. Like putting eye drops in your eyes-- you know it is going to change how you see everything (haha) but the idea of putting a foreign object in your eye seems to scary to actually do. I like to say that I'm an advocate for trying new things, new experiences, but I'm finding these days that I'm not so eager to put myself out there as much-- I'm too tired, my arms too weak. Perhaps the steps that I'm taking these days are much smaller and it makes me feel as though I am defying my own advice simply because the risks are small enough that they seem invisible. Yet I am trying to remember that in the long run, the smallest steps add up into some wonderful growth.
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